Democrats Buy Teslas Too!
Republicans bought Michael Jordan's shoes ... and, now, Democrats buy Elon Musk's cars.
“Republicans buy sneakers too.”
At least, Michael Jordan said so in 1990. If you want to become a rich entrepreneur, why alienate half of the American population? Just don’t talk about politics! Jordan was right. Look what happened! Jordan became the first professional athlete to attain a billion-dollar net worth according to Forbes!
Meanwhile, Colin Kaepernick is not a billionaire … and we know why! He got woke. He alienated his conservative base in San Francisco! They didn’t want to buy Nike shoes, and we all know that Republicans in the Bay Area constitute a large portion of Nike’s sales.
Kaepernick could have become Jordan .. but no, no, no! Kaepernick wanted to take a stand and virtual signal to his fans on the “Left Coast” and the SJW Nike executives up in Oregon. The 49ers quarterback gave it all away. He said no to a billion dollars. He just needed to be like Jordan.
But someone else not even in sports made a huge unforced error by not listening to Michael Jordan. Our centibillionaire friend Elon Musk. He could have had it all! Sure, he is still the richest man in the world … but he could have even been like richer or something. Wow. Imagine if he never tied himself to Donald Trump.
If only Elon Musk realized that “Democrats buy Teslas too”.
Yes…yes! Yes, they indeed do! With that in mind, maybe Donald Trump did Elon Musk a favor by pushing him out of the White House? It gave Elon Musk an opportunity to bash Trump and distance himself from Trump as Musk did on Twitter on the night of Thursday, June 5, in his public crash-out. There’s a reason that Tesla stock has crated by 30% since the first trading day of Trump’s second presidency on Monday, January 21. Musk killed the golden goose. He alienated the Marin County Democrats, his former base.
Doesn’t Elon realize? It was the Democrats that made him rich. It was the DEMOCRATS that have made Tesla stock skyrocket over the past decade. Okay, maybe Musk got his first taste of wealth with his dad’s emerald mines in South Africa and Zambia, but that’s not the point! This isn’t even a Jordan situation! Jordan assumed that Republicans constitute a huge portion of sneaker sales. Maybe that’s true. Everyone needs shoes, but does everyone need a Tesla? No! Who needs a Tesla? The answer was simple: a 2010s Democrat in Marin County trying to virtue signal.
Remember the Toyota Prius during the Bush administration? Oh boy, did they laugh at us in summer of 2008 when gas prices spiked. Buying a Prius in the Bush administration was the perfect virtue signal. They weren’t even that expensive, but Elon Musk went and messed up a good thing! Once we entered the Obama years, a Toyota Prius wasn’t enough for the Democrats in Marin County going to Whole Foods. Oh … no sir! The Tesla cars allowed these people to now virtue signal in TWO simultaneous ways. Sure, you still cared about the environment as you did with the Prius. Yada, yada, yada. But what was MORE important even if you didn’t realize it? A Tesla bequeathed you with the ability to SHOW the Joneses that you were WEALTHY too. You were a RICH PERSON who CARED about the ENVIRONMENT.
You had a good thing goin’ for about a decade. It was like you were driving in a MacBook Pro. Sleek. Polished. Ergonomic. It was trendy and Californian — but not “too” Californian as to upset the Floridians and Texans.
But Elon THREW IT ALL AWAY. Elon began associating with Joe Rogan, the patron saint of the bros. In December 2021, Elon fled from California to Texas as so many cowards had. He ruined our good thing called Twitter. In November 2022, Elon unbanned Donald Trump from Twitter! If Elon never bought Twitter, maybe this whole Trump comeback wouldn’t have happened! Where’s Jack Dorsey when you need him??? Gosh. We didn’t realize what we had with him. We didn’t realize how much worse it could get. We didn’t realize … until it was too late.
Elon kept posting pro-GOP content on Twitter. He eventually endorsed Donald Trump in July 2024. He poured hundreds of millions in the crucial state of Pennsylvania during the 2024 campaign. Many people could argue that, without Elon Musk, Donald Trump wouldn’t have won! But he alienated his base. Mr. Musk, Democrats buy Teslas too! But guess what? We’re not going to buy them anymore if you keep up these antics. It was the dumbest thing that you have done, Mr. Musk.
However, Elon has this brief window of opportunity to make it up to us. Good thing for him … I haven’t gotten around to getting rid of my Tesla yet. What am I going to buy instead? An electric BMW? No sir. That’s like switching my MacBook out for a ThinkPad.
You best not ruin it, Mr. Musk. We’re mad at you. But we’re willing to listen. We’re willing to make up. Just don’t make up with President Trump. Don’t ruin a good thing once more.